Sometimes I Check "Asian" On Applications

Which guru decided the minimum cut-offs for "minority" status? If anyone knows, send his name my way so I can give him a hug or, failing that, a cookie bouquet. It is due to his wisdom that I just might get into the college of my choice despite some glaring weaknesses on my resume. I'm 25% Japanese, dammit, and that entitles me to special consideration. My grandmother abandoned her home in Japan to run away with an occupying soldier, knowing deep down that some day, her willingness to face the New World would allow her offspring a better chance at life than what was available in the Land of the Rebuilding Sun. What I'm sure she didn't know, mostly because Affirmative Action didn't exist in the late 1940's, was that they would also be placed on a pedestal above all but the most Native of Americans.